A/N: This piece of insanity was spawned during an IM conversation in which Drew was freaked and Thalia was freaky. ^_^ Welcome to Alter!World, Ladies and Gents...mwahaha...
Disclaimer: Alter!World is purely an invention of our own
brains, sadly enough. You can't use it unless you ask nicely and give us
chocolate.... hmm? Pardon?.. oh, right.. You can't use it unless you ask
nicely, give Thalia chocolate, and give Drew flowers. ^_^ Aragorn isn't
ours (though Thalia wishes he was). Drew is Drew's. Thalia is Thalia's.
Everyone else is their own too...^_^
It is late at night, and DREW sits at her computer, typing away. Minutes pass, but she is oblivious to the ticking clock next to her. At last, after a long time, she sits back with a sigh of relief.
Drew: Yesss! Finished MST!
She clicks a button, sending an email to her brother AW. Then she yawns
Drew (drowsy): I'm tired. I guess it's bedtime...
She stumbles sleepily down the hall. Her eyes are half-closed, so she doesn't see the giant portal she is walking into. Unfortunately for Drew, the Gods of Irony have struck again, this time in an unprecedented-ly...well...ironic...way.
Drew (opens her eyes): What the...!
She has fallen into Alter!World, the land beyond the sock drawer. Everything is skewed and strange-looking. Random words occasionally float around bizarrely, but the first thing she notices is the girl who stands before her. This is THALIA.
Thalia: AUGGGGH! YOU'RE THE DREWNESS!
Drew: ...what? Where am I? Who are you?
Thalia (bows): Oh, I never thought this day would come. Your Exalted Holiness, it is such an honor...the Drewness...
Drew (extremely surprised): Hon...are you feeling okay? Speaking of which, who are you?
Thalia (kneeling): I am Thalia, the small and meek. May I have your autograph, O Holy Exalted Drewness?
Drew: ...Drewness? I'm just Drew. Drew Marigold. Look, this is wierd...
Thalia (still kneeling): You are the Drewness. Our goddess.
Drew (shocked): Goddess?!
Thalia: Supreme High Holy Exalted Spiffy Special Goddess Drewness, to be exact.
Drew: ...that's...nice...(looks around) Where is this place?
Thalia: This is Alter!World, the land of Drewness-worshippers. There were prophecies...oh, I can't believe this...
Drew: You can't be serious. Dear Eru, this is a bizarre dream...
Hundreds of people come tramping out of nowhere. All of them speak in unison
All: WORSHIP THE DREWNESS! OBEY THE DREWNESS!
Drew (really freaked out): Ack!
Thalia: They are yours to command, Your Drewness. (she joins the bowing masses)
Drew: o_O Mine...to...command? (looks around, in shock) My worshippers?
Worshippers: WORSHIP THE DREWNESS! OBEY THE DREWNESS! WORSHIP THE DR-
Drew: Auuugh! Stop it! STOP THAT!
Worshippers (as one): Yes, Your Drewness.
Drew (to self): That's kind of creepy. (to worshippers) Look, don't you have anything better to do?
Worshippers: No, Your Drewness. We live to serve you.
Suddenly, Aragorn appears beside Drew.
Aragorn (sleepily): ...Drew? What is this?
Worshippers: THE ARAGORN HAS COME! WORSHIP THE ARAGORN AND THE DREWNESS!
Aragorn (stares): Drew...
Drew (sighing): Don't ask me.
Thalia (stands up): Attention Masses...the ancient prophecies have come true. This is THE DREWNESS, Supreme High Holy Exalted Queen of Alter!World.
Masses: (start cheering and don't stop for a really long time)
Thalia: And this is THE ARAGORN, Supreme High Holy Exalted King of Alter!World.
Drew and Aragorn (look at each other): No relation.
Aragorn: I'm married...
Drew: Me too...
Thalia: ... yes... I know.. you're the king and queen..
Aragorn: I am NOT married to her!
Drew: (offended) hey!
Aragorn: Nono, not like that... I mean... Ai, Valar.. My wife's name is Arwen.
Thalia: (to Drew) you prefer to be called "Arwen"?
Drew: NO! That's his wife's name! I'm Drew.
Thalia (to Aragorn, whispering): You have a wife?
Thalia: Aiee! Don't tell them that! Do you want to be hung as impostors?
Drew (scared): Aragorn, shut up. If we're married, we're married. I am so not dying here.
Aragorn: ...fine. How did I get here, anyway? What is it?
Drew (shrugging): Search me.
Thalia (clears throat): 'Scuse me, but the masses are getting restless. And they don't like getting restless.
(Drew and Aragorn both jump and turn around guiltily)
Thalia: Worship them, for they are holy and exalted. And spiffy.
Masses: WORSHIP THE DREWNESS! WORSHIP THE ARAGORN! WOR-
Drew: Ahh! I told you to stop that!
Masses: (are silent)
Drew: Whoa. Cool.
Thalia: They will obey your every command.
Drew: (thoughtfully) Every command?
Aragorn: You're getting tempted by the prospect of supreme power. Don't.
Drew: Which brings me back to where I started...
Drew and Aragorn together: How did I get here and how do I get home?
-End of Chapter One-