girl interrupted

Aragorn: We're doing our best.

A/N: I'm going to try something new.

Legolas: (Author) It's called a spell check.

I'm going to put people's thoughts between ( ).

AW: Between parenthesis? Aren't details to explain things go in the- oh never mind.

It much easier to do that than "bla bla bla" she thought.

Drew: Which was pretty much exactly what she was thinking.

Oh, and for the record, I don't own Lord of the Rings.

Aragorn: I do.
Legolas: (defiant) You do not!
Aragorn: (chuckles) Shows how much you know.

And I don't think Nemiel's name means anything. I just made it up off the top of my head.

AW: (to himself) Geez, lay of the Harry Potter, AW; I read that as Neville.

~*~*~

Stacie woke up to birds singing, and golden rays of sunshine pouring through her room.

Drew: Upon sitting up, she realized she was surrounded by arrows from where Legolas had had too much wine and thought he'd have target practice.
Legolas: Hey, I'll have you know, that I am still a good shot while intoxicated. Had to learn to be; can't let your guard down /ever/ now.

When a knock came to her door,

Legolas: (Stacie) Just five more minutes, mom.

she was reluctant to get out of the soft, huge four poster bed. It was like sleeping on clouds.

AW: So, she was damp and falling through the sky because clouds aren't solid?
Legolas: That is the kind of "girl falling into Middle-earth" stories that I like.

 She sighed and sat up.
"Come in." She moaned. A smiling young looking elf entered her room.

Drew: As apposed to those old looking elves, eh?

"Good morning!" She chimed. "I trust you slept well.

Legolas: (elf) 'Cause it's time to die!

My name is Nemiel, I am here to help and guide you.

Legolas: (Nemiel) And kill you.
AW: Shhhht!

First, however, we must get you into proper clothing."
"Does that mean I have to wear a dress?!"

Drew: (sarcastically) Oh, Heaven forbid....
AW: (hoarsely) The horror.... the horror....

"I am sure it is different in your world, but here it is only proper for young ladies to wear modest clothing.

AW: (Nemiel) But to get the men to go wild, just show a little ankle and watch them fly!

And dresses fit that description."
"What if I'm not a proper young lady?"

Aragorn: (sarcasum) You mean, she's not?!

Nemiel laughed lightly."Then we shall have to turn you into one, shan't we? Up, up!" She 'assissted' Stacie out of bed.

Legolas: And assissted in this case means she prodded Stacie with a cattle iron.
Aragorn: "Shan't"? "Shan't"? (starts twitching)

She walked over to what apparently was a wardrobe and leafed through dresses until she found one that suited the young maiden well. It was a long sleeved green and silver dress.

Drew: I liked the purple one.
AW: I perfer the blue one.
Legolas: Silver doesn't suit Stacie. How about black? Blood stains don't show up too much on black...

"This one shall do. I will lay it right here and go fetch some hot water."
"For what?"

Aragorn: (Nemiel, sinister) We're having you for dinner!
Drew: Mmm... Sueflay.
Legolas: Mmmm....Suep.

"Why, for you bath of course!

Aragorn: (Nemiel) You stink!

The tub is behind the partition over there."
"Oh." (of course they don't have pipes...oh, well)

AW: Well, except the bagpipes.
(rimshot)

"Wait right here. I shall be a few minutes." Nemiel gracefully left the room, gently but swiftly closing the door behind her.

Legolas: And locked it.

It wasn't a minute after she left the room when a knock came to the door.
"You're back already?!" The door slowly opened and a head peeped through the door. Stacie laughed as two hobbits made their way into her room.

AW: Wouldn't the Hobbits have something better to do that stare at a Sue? They see enough of them as it is!

"You wish to lay your eyes on the beautiful girl again, hmm?" She knew perfectly well her hair was a mess, and her eyes were still heavy from sleep.

Drew: (hobbit, pointing) Demon of Sauron!!!

This time, the hobbits laughed along with her.

Legolas: Just to humour her.

"We thought we'd keep you company." The one clad in the colors on Gondor said.

AW: She learned this fact through a Vulcan mindmeld.

"Perhaps I should introduce myself. I'm Stacie Emeril."

Aragorn: (Stacie) But you can call me Sue.
Drew: What kind of last name is that?
AW: It's a Sue last name, that's what.

"Meriadoc Brandybuck at your service."
"And Peregrin Took at your service."

Drew: (Merry) PPC Agents in training.

"But I prefer Merry."
"And Pippin."

Aragorn: (Pippin) But only by friends, mind you.

"Well, Merry and Pippin, if you two are as mischievous as I,

AW: (Merry) No, actually we've grown up quite a bit.
Drew: (Pippin) You're on your own on this one.

we might just get along." All three jumped when the door flew open.

AW: (door opener) Boogidie! Boogidie! Just kidding! Booooooooogidie!

"Out, you two! It's time for the girl to prepare herself for the day.

Legolas: (speaker) Just look at her! She's a disgrace! This will take serveral hours at least!

You must be getting along." Nemiel said lightheartedly to the two hobbits. Both looked rather glum at having to leave.

Drew: (Merry, whining) But we wanna gawk at the Sue, Namiel!

"Will you have time to have tea with us?" Merry asked. Stacie grinned.

AW: (Pippin) We swear on our honour not to put rat poison in our tea.

"I hope. I don't know what they have planned for me today, but I'll try." Merry and Pippin smiled and left.

Aragorn: (Merry) Right, part one of the plan is set.
Legolas: (Pippin) Now, if we can get her to swallow the ant poison in the cookies while we're at it...

Halfway down the hall, Merry turned to his friend with a worried expression on his face.

AW: (Merry) You think she bought it?

"I don't know, Pip. She doesn't seem all that bad to me."
"I know what you mean. I don't think she's evil."

Drew: Whatever happened to 'the enemy would seem more fair than foul' to gain trust?

"Let's hope she's truly not."

AW: (Pippin) If she is, we're all screwed.

------------------------

Nemiel walked into Stacie's room with other elves, carrying buckets of steaming hot water. They walked over to

Legolas: Stacie and proptly threw them at her.
AW: (Stacie, wailing) I'm melting! I'm melting! Ooooohhhhh!

 the tub and poured it in. Nemiel added rose petals to the water.

All: ...
Legolas: Why?

"This is just to add a nice scent to the bath water."

Aragorn: Heard of scented oils? We have them too...
Legolas: How much you want to bet that the petals just sink to the bottom?

She explained when Stacie gave her a confused look. "The soap is right by the tub,

Drew: (Nemiel) Soap! Of course! That would add scent to the water too! How silly of me to forget!

along with a towel to dry off with.

Legolas: (Nemiel) And a knife to stab your-
AW: Shhht!

When you are done, please wear the dress I have layed out for you."

Drew: (Nemiel) Hope you like puce!

"Thank you. I'm really starting to feel gross, so a bath is just what I need right now." She laughed.

Aragorn: (Stacie) I'm dirty and it's funny! Ha ha haaa!

"In an hour, you will be escorted to the banquet hall for breakfast." With that, Nemiel and the ladies left.

AW: (Nemiel, hoarse whisper to the other elves) Go go go!
 
Stacie waited until she heard the door close and then slipped out of her clothes.

Drew: (Stacie) Whooops! >thud<

She slowly reclined into the nice, warm water. (No more show and having to be nice...Stacie the assassin may be herself...for half an hour)

AW: (confused) I didn't get that.... oh wait... those are her thoughts... Riiiiiiiiiight.
Drew: What I can't figure out is, the previous chapters had slight author details in the parenthases and now she's using the same method for marking thought... ... ...ow!
AW: Way to confuse your readers. Kudos, girl! Kudos.

She groped the floor

Aragorn: (shocked) Stacie!
Legolas: (shruging) Hey, better the floor than me...
(AW snorts)

for the bar of soap Nemiel told her about, and found it.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Ta DA!
Drew: (british accent) They have given us... a shoe!
Legolas: No no... soap, dear.
AW: Shhht!

After she had it in her hand,

AW: She shoved it up her nose!

her left hand searched the floor for her jeans. Upon finding it, she pulled out a switch blade she kept in her pocket. She grinned maliciously at the two.

Legolas: Then proptly stabbed herself.
AW: Stop it! We know you want her dead.

"Lets call you Jordan, the stupid detective who wanted me put to death because he was so freakin close on my trail!"

Drew: (Stacie) As I ignore the fact that I was breaking the law and killing people that had families and were aiming for a good pention...

She squeezed the bar of soap in her right hand, and the knife in her left.

Legolas: And stabbe-
AW: No!

"Ohhh, what do you do with a drunkin sailor," She began singing, slicing a layer of soap off at each word, "what do you do with a drunkin sailor, what do you do with a drunkin sailor-early in the mornin!"

Aragorn: Cut up their soap, apparently.

She cut bigger chunks off at the end of the line.

Drew: She's slicing that soap pretty quickly if you ask me. That's a fast paced song.
AW: We can only hope she slices off a finger or two in the process...

"Lock 'im on up with capn's daughter, lock 'im on up with the capn's daughter,

AW: Or a Sue... that would sober him up right quick.
(Legolas shudders)

lock 'im on up with the capn's daughter-EARLY IN THE MORNING!!!"

Aragorn: And nine months later....
Drew: (daughter) I give ya back yur change!

Stacie laughed when she realized she cut all the soap into little bits and pieces.

Aragorn: Elrond later had her tied up and burned at the stake for lunacy.
Legolas: Burn 'er!!!
Drew: (british accent) She turned me into a newt!

"Not so brave now, hmm? Detective?!"

AW: Stacie, honey... it's a bar of soap!

She sighed and relaxed, sliding back into the tub.

Legolas: Nemiel comes in. (Nemiel) What have you done with the soap?!
Aragorn: (Nemiel) Lucky you, mortal, you get to help make the next batch! And it's elven soap, so it takes twenty years to make!

The memories of how she took care of the fool came running through her mind...

AW: (high pitched singing) Let's do the Time Warp agaaaaaaaaaaaain...!

Stacie tiptoed through the apartment, clad all in black.

Drew: (japanese accent) Like moving shadows, we sneak up and steal your crappy and obslete computah.

Black pants, black sweater, mask, tennis shoes, and gloves.

AW: (sarcastically) Oh, so that's what "dressed all in black" means. Dude, that's deep.

She pulled out a pair of her friend's seven year old sister's, Sarah, underwear.

Legolas: Should we be disturbed at this point?

She carefully opened each of the drawers, until she found one filled with socks and underwear and such.

AW: And I will not inquire any further of what the "such" indicates.

Being cautious not to move anything out of place,

Drew: (snorts) Like someone could tell that their sock drawer's been messed with. (Jordan) Wait a gosh darn second here... my mass of socks and underwear has been ever so slightly disturbed! Call the police!

she slipped the underwear beneath everything.

Aragorn: How does one not move anything out of place, but place something underneath?
Legolas: (Stacie) Now I will bend spoons with my very mind!

Next she took out tons of pictures of Sarah. Sarah riding her bike, Sarah at school, Sarah playing with her friends.

AW: Okay, I see where this is going and am now getting properly disturbed....

All were taken while inside of a car or far away. She placed them inside the bathroom-underneath the sink, carefully hidden so his majesty wouldn't notice them at first.

Drew: Yes, hide them so he can't find them and know anything about the accusations he is about to face...

Next she went to his computer. Thankfully it was on.

AW: But blast it all, it required a password she didn't have.

She then pulled a disk out of her bag. She'd been careful not to put any finger prints on it.

Aragorn: I thought she was wearing gloves...

She slipped it into the hard drive

(Both AW and Drew nearly fall out of their chairs laughing)
AW: Stupid Sue! You can't insert a disk into the hard drive! Try the floppy drive, 'cause it has this handly little slot for your disk!
(Drew tries to breathe)

and navigated her way to word pad. She went to different documents, printing each one.

Aragorn: I'm getting lost here. What's going on?

The corporation had somehow managed to get a copy of Jordan's finger prints, into little pads she could slip onto her fingers.

AW: Why not get all the finger prints onto a latex glove or something...
Drew: 'Cause that would make sense. Plus, I think she just ruined the hard drive anyway.
Legolas: (to himself) Smile and nod.... smile and nod....

She took off her gloves and slipped them onto her fingertips.

Aragorn: (Stacie) One for Peter Pointer, one for Middle Man....

Then she touched all over the papers she just printed. After that, Stacie neatly folded each paper.

Drew: Then she got careless and got her palm print on the paper, therefore alerting the authorities to fraud.

She slid them beneath his computer and removed the pads on her fingers. After making sure she didn't leave any evidence behind, she put her gloves back on and made her back out the window and down the fire exit.

Legolas: Then fell 40 stories down. Her funeral will be held at-
AW: Quieeeeeeeeeet.

"Task completed." She muttered to herself, grinning evilly. "He shouldn't be stalking little children." She smirked.
That afternoon, arrangements were to be made to have things look like the detective would be attempting to rape the poor little girl. The police would get a search warrant, and guess what they would find?

Legolas: Candy.

Evidence that Jordan was stalking Sarah. That would get him off of Stacie's tail.

AW: Sure it points to him, but truely there is no hard DNA evidence.

And that's exactly what happened. His prints were all over the pictures, letters, and underwear.

AW: (more insistant) D.N.A. evidence!

Needless to say, the girl's parents filed complaints and made sure the evil man went to jail.

AW: Yes, let's forget all about the court system and all. Let's ingore-
Drew: You watch too many court shows. Shut up.

Who knows what his jailmates did to him. Not even a murderer will put up with a child molesterer...

AW: (deep voice) I'll see you in the showers....
Drew: (cheerily) Don't drop the soap, Jordan!

Stacie bolted straight as someone pounded on her door.

Aragorn: (muffled) What is taking so long? You have been in there for over an hour! Are you a prune yet?!

"Now what?!" She screamed when the door flew open. Whoever it was couldn't see her because of the partition, but she slid further into the tub to be on the safe side.

Legolas: Lower, Sue. Lower. Submurge your head.

"Ahh! I'm so sorry, miss! I thought you'd be...well..."

Aragorn: (whoever) Dressed by now. You take too long.

"It's alright, Merry." She laughed and shook her head at her own stupidity.

Legolas: As we all are.
(AW giggles.)

All frightened because of one silly little hobbit! "And my name is Stacie, not miss.

Aragorn: (Merry) Sorry, Miss.

I'll be ready to join everyone in half an hour." She murmured beneath the bath water.

Legolas: Lower!

"But breakfast is in five minutes!" He exclaimed.
"What?! You're kidding!"

AW: (Merry) If I were kidding, I'd say that I peed in your bath water before they came in. *snort* Kidding. Right.

"No." She screamed in frustration at his answer.
"Fine, I'll be out in a few, you can go now."

Aragorn: (Stacie) Dismissed!
Legolas: (Merry, muttering) I'll dismiss you... right up your...

"Oh, right! Sorry." He blushed as he left the room sheepishly. After hearing the door shut, she lept out of the tub

Drew: (Stacie) Jeter!
AW: Point your toes, Sue.

and grabbed the towel.

Legolas: Mere moments later, she was running down the hall wearing only that.

She took thirty seconds to dry herself, and then grabbed the clothes Nemiel wanted her to wear.

Aragorn: Five minutes later, she had still failed to get into the dress because she had not dried herself properly.

She managed to get the dress on in two minutes. She towel dryed her hair and brushed it with a brush she found on the dresser in her room. She shrugged at her reflection. "It'll do." She murmured.

AW: (Stacie) That'll give me enough reason for them to kill me...

A/N: Well, some will be excited and others annoyed.

AW: She's phychic!
Drew: You mean 'psycho'?
AW: .. Same thing.

This chapter(and maybe more) features Ioreth for a little while! For those who don't know Ioreth,

Aragorn: She makes a wonderful lamb stew.

she's in The Return of the King. I thought she was annoying character, but hey!

AW: (author) I'm annoying, too!  We get along real well.

Why not have her play the part she's used to as the gossiping woman from Gondor?

Drew: (Hyacinth) Mind the cows, Richard!
AW: (Richard) Minding the cows, dear.

Yeah, so...I don't own her. Just Stacie Emeril!

Drew: (author) And I also have this great toe fungus... but, you... didn't need to... know that.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Aragorn: Not likely.

~*~*~

pain too great to carry

Drew: Wow, it's like she knows us.

Everyone seemed to be against the young woman, but there was something about her that made Legolas like her.

Legolas: She's mortal.. as in, she will die.

He knew she couldn't be much good, but he didn't care.

Aragorn: Dead is dead.

She was like a hobbit up to no good...

Drew: Short, fat... face full of mushrooms...

He knocked on her door. It wasn't long before she opened it.

Aragorn: She was up to no good.

"I see you've finally decided to change your attire?" He asked.

AW: (Stacie) Naw, just my clothes.

She raised a brow.

"Ugh! Do I really have to be escorted by you?!"

Drew: (Stacie) I'll take door number three, Bob.
AW: (Stacie) Or the car?

"Nothing! Nothing at all." She grinned. He laughed and offered her his arm.

Legolas: Won't be needing this anymore.  

The two walked down to the breakfast-one of the hobbits' favorite meals.

Drew: And second breakfast, and elevenses..
AW: And brunch and lunch and..
Aragorn: Yes, thank you.  Have some more cheese.

 =)

Everyone: Gah!
AW: Ph33r 7h3 3vil h4ppy ph4c3.
Drew: (Smacks AW) Don't /do/ that!

(a/n: I like hobbits in case ya can't tell.)
 
AW: And in other news, Godzilla and King Kong have reconciled their differences and are looking into time-sharing.  Back to you, Jim.

"Hey, she made it! That's amazing! I've never seen a girl get ready so quickly in my life!" Pippin exclaimed in wonder.

Legolas: (Merry)  What about when you asked Pansy Bolger to marry you when you were twelve?  Was she /ever/ ready!

Stacie popped him on the head when no one was looking.

AW: (Stacie) Duck!

"OW! What was that for?!" He exclaimed.

Drew: It's a pre-school game. Go with it.

She sighed.  "For speaking without thinking."

Aragorn: (Stacie) That's my job.

"Ohhh...?" Pippin gave Merry a questioning look.

AW: (Merry) Thanks!  Is it my turn with the look?

Merry only shrugged.

Drew: (Merry) If you insist.

The blonde elf laughed.

Legolas: (gleefully) She's going to die!

"What's so funny?" Stacie glared at him.

Aragorn: You mean I'm limited to just one thing?

"Nothing. Nothing at all!"

Drew: (singsong) We know something you don't know.

Stacie's glare became more venomus.

Aragorn: Good thing looks can kill and all.

"Wow! You look like a snake!" Merry said in awe.

AW: (singing) She's a cold-hearted snake, look into her eyes.
Legolas: More cheese?

"Ya mind repeating that?!"

Aragorn: (Merry) Wow! You look like a snake!
Legolas: Would you like to hear it again?

"You do! I mean, you got ebony hair and green eyes. Doesn't she looked like a snake, Pip?" Pippin gasped.

Drew: Yeah, cause as we all know, snakes have black hair.

"My word! She does!"

Legolas: (Stacie, preening) And if that impresses you, I can smell with my tongue.

"I can please just sit down and eat?" She pleaded to Legolas.

Legolas: Of course! Try the arsenic-laced donuts.

He surpressed a laugh and lead her to a table. Being the gentleman that he is, he pulled her seat out for her.

AW: Hoping she wouldn't notice the woopie cushion.

She noticed that once she sat, everything began to become silent.

AW: (Stacie) It wasn't me!

She gave a nervous laugh as everyone began to look at her.
"H-hello. I'm Stacie the a-"

Drew: SUE!

She stopped herself in her tracks.

AW: (Hopefully) Train tracks?

"person from another world!

Drew: Melmak?
AW: Got cat?

How are you...?" Her voice trailed off.

Legolas: Fine, try the donuts.

"Hullo!" Pippin chimed in. Everyone else followed suit and gave her a warm welcoming.

AW: (Legolas, tosses her chair into the firepit) You're in the Hot Seat now!

Then everyone one went back to their chatter.

**

"So I 'ear that the girl's plain evil!"

Aragorn: The Sue's reputation preceeds her.

A Gondor woman named Ioreth gossiped to her cousin.

Drew: (Ioreth) So I says to Ma, "Ma, he ain't gonna be flippin burgers forever!  And I loves him, I do."

"Just plain evil! Even the elve's feel it!

AW: (singing) I'm pickin' up good vibrations...
Legolas: Very nice, have some cheese.

And what? From another world!

Drew: I love that show! Has Nancy McGowan come out of the coma yet?

That just ain't normal, I tell you! Ain't normal at all."

AW: (Ioreth) Richard Simmons and Pippy Longstocking!  What would de children look like?

Her cousin nodded in agreement. An elf close by cringed at her bad grammar.

Legolas: And those in the audience wept at the bad plot.

He whispered to his kinsman in Sindarin, "Did the Men of Gondor not wish to have their wives properly trained in their language?"

Aragorn: No, that way, we don't notice when they nag. ^_^

"Apparently not."

Legolas: (thoughtful) Now there's an idea!

"But since we're on the subject of the young maiden..."

AW: (Elf) I've heard she's entirely bald.

Pretty soon nearly everyone that was breaking their fast was on the subject of Stacie the...

Aragorn: Sue!

well, Stacie the maiden from another world.

Drew: Tune in tomorrow to see Stacie reunited with her long-lost evil twin's lover.

Stacie was walking back to her room when a pain shot through her chest.

AW: (Stacie) Heartburn!
Legolas: (smugly) No.  I never miss.

She whinced and fell to her knees, clutching the wall.

Legolas: (under his breath) Die, die, die!

She bit her lip in attempt to stop the tears and screams of agony that were about escape her mouth.

AW: Wesley Crusher haunts my dreams!

(What's wrong with me?)

Drew: You mean, besides the obvious?

The thought raced through her mind.

Drew: And it's incoherency tied neck and neck with inanity. Tough race folks.

She'd heard of people having chest pains that were having heartattacks, but she was too young to have them.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Yeah, young people don't die.

She didn't know how long she kneeled there, but she exhaled in relief when the pain left her. She slowly stood up.

AW: Headrush!

She frowned in realization that the pain had left some sort of scar inside of her.

Drew: (Stacie) I'm internally ugly now!

It was like the pain was gone, but left behind a bitter aftertaste that wouldn't go away.

Legolas: Skunk stew will do that.

She shook the thought away and continued her way down the hall.

AW: (stacie, singing) I'm... off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of White.
Aragorn: Cheese?

She smiled as Gandalf started walking towards her from the opposite direction.

AW:  Called it!

There was something about him that made her feel calm inside.

Drew: That's Gandalf, the Walking Valium.

That everything would be alright...just the way her grandfather was.

Drew:  After the meds kicked in.

"Ah, Stacie! There you are." A frown came over his face.

Legolas: (Gandalf) Have you been into the prune juice again?

"Are you alright?"

AW: (stacie) Of course I am. Why would you think anything's the matter? I'm perfectly fine. Lalala. Heh. Heh.... Are you gone yet?

"Yes. Why?"

"Your face is quite pale and-what happened to your lip?"

Drew: (Gandalf) And the rest of your face, come to think of it.

Gandalf's face was filled concern. Stacie's hand meanwhile flew up to her lips. She gasped when she felt a warm liquid.

Legolas: (Stacie) My face is melting!

Blood. She let out a nervous laugh.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Wow, is my face red.

"I guess I accidentally bit it. I do it all the time..." She licked the blood off her lips.

Drew: (Stacie) Come kiss Cousin Peachy-pooh.

"Oh. Well, the counsel and I would like for you to have a chat with us this afternoon." He lowered his voice.

Aragorn: (Gandalf) We plan to kill you... Try to act surprised.

"I'm afraid there are some who...well, fear you may be dangerous."

"What?!" She cried out in surprise.

Drew: (Stacie) Why?! It's not like I claim I'm an assass- oh, right.

"Shh! My word, you certainly can scream when you want.

Aragorn: She won't scream when /we've/ finished with her.

Try hard to prove them wrong. Please try to come to the library at precisely noon.

AW: (Gandalf) Let's synchronize our sundials, shall we?

Meanwhile, try not to get into trouble."

Legolas: (Stacie) So.... no killing till after lunch?

He chuckled. "And you may want to go to the Healing House. I fear you may have a virus."

AW: (Gandalf) Check your firewall and update your Norton.

He gave her one more worried look before continuing on his way.

Drew: (Gandalf) Freak.

She walked a little further before entering her room. She was beyond crying at the moment.

Aragorn: .... that makes five of us.

Depression was making its way into her.

Drew: Incoming, emotion with a baby, coming through.

She looked out the huge window in her room, staring lifelessly out into the horizon.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Oh, good, it's still there.

"It's over," She whispered.

AW: The fat lady has sung.

"They know, they'll find out the truth about me and...execution."

The last word barely came out.

Legolas: (word) I have no life.

"No one's gonna want a person with my background around."

AW: Cause no one in Middle-Earth has ever killed anything....

She sat on her bed and put her head into hands.

Drew: You know, duct tape will keep that head on nicely.

Her hand drifted to the switchblade she had hidden beneath her matchress.

Drew: Matchress... is that anything like a Sealee/Symmons?
AW: Aaaah! SIMMONS!

She pulled it at and gave it a hard look. "Why not?" She murmured.

Legolas: Why not, indeed!

She held in stabbing position towards herself, both hands on the handle.

Aragorn: (leaning forward in his seat)
Drew: (Stacie) Is this a dagger I see before me?

She took a deep breath and braced herself, closed her eyes and-

Aragorn: (eagerly) And?  AND?
AW: (singing) And did it heeeeer waaaay... (glances around) I know, I know... Have more cheese, AW. (holds his hand out)
Drew: (plunks chunk of cheese) No more singing.  You'll be having problems soon.

~*~*~

A/N: I know you all hate me for leaving it at a cliffhanger!

Legolas: Nono, that is forgiven.
AW: We'll hate you if you continue.

Don't worry. I plan on updating just after this. =)

Aragorn: I do not respond well to threats.

A/N: Told ya I'd update soon!

Legolas: We were hoping it was an empty promise.
Aragorn: Actually, I was going for 'writer's block'.

I have to write out my ideas before they grow cold. Well, I'm gonna try to lighten the mood a little in later chapters.

AW: (throws his hands up) Hugbees!
Legolas: Here we go again.

Depressing, I know...suicidal Stacie.

AW: We were enjoying it, thank you.

~*~*~

lifesaving interruptions

Aragorn: Nooooo!

Legolas ran into Stacie's room as a warning feeling swept over him.

AW: Danger! Danger Will Robinson.

"Stacie!" She jumped, and something fell from her hands.

Drew & AW: Her head.

"Don't do that! Sheesh. What is it with you people and not knocking before coming in?" She growled.

Legolas: Sorry, I thought you were dead already.

"What was in your hands?"

Drew and AW: (Stacie) My head.

"Nothing!"

"Tell me!" Tears spilled down her cheeks as the elf rushed over to her bedside to find the knife.

AW: (Legolas) Olly olly oxen free!

If she'd had her wits about her, she'd tried to have concealed it.

Drew: ..A little blush and voilà!

But it was too late. Legolas picked it up and gave a look filled with pity.

Legolas: (scornfully) You call this a knife?

"What's this?" He asked softly.

AW: (Stacie, hopefully) A spoon?

"It is nothing." Her head fell to it's now usual spot in her hands.

Drew: I see you've never played 'knifey-spoony' before.

"Please say you had no intentions of killing yourself."

Aragorn: (Stacie) I have no intention of killing yourself.

"My intentions are none of you business! I know what my fate is. Why not get it over with?"

Legolas: Suits me! 

Legolas shook his head and sat down beside her.
"Are you never happy?"

AW: (Stacie) No, but I am Dopey on occassion.

"You'd be sick to find out what makes me happy."  She said in a barely audible whisper.

Legolas: You make me sick no matter what.

"The Lady Eowyn is just outside. Maybe you and she should have counsel."

Drew: (Legolas) We have a lovely non-smoking counsel shop just around the corner.

Stacie shook her head.

AW: (Stacie) Counsel keeps me up all night.

"Nothing matters any more." She mumbled. "The cookie has officially crumbled." She moved her hands in a wide gesture.

Aragorn: Were you eating in bed again?
Legolas: Eeeew.

"Life has no more meaning." She fell backwards onto her bed.

AW: Hello? Forty-Two, anyone?

"It does." He contradicted.

Aragorn: (Stacie) Does not! Just let me die!

"No, it doesn't! Don't you get it? I am evil!

AW: I want One. Meellion. Dollars!  (pinky thing)

Haven't you been listening to the others? I'm your basic poison.

Drew: Drain-o!

You'd sooner have an arrow to my head if you knew my background."

AW: (Legolas) You're preaching to the choir.

"Well, since I don't know your background yet I shall not be shooting you anytime soon. Come.

Legolas: Allow me to set you ablaze and push you off the Citadel.

You're going to talk to Eowyn. She's been wanting to talk to you since she heard of your arrival."

Aragorn: Of course, with Eowyn, a talk usually degenerates into a sword fight.

"I'll be the death of everyone." She muttered as she followed him out the door.

Aragorn: Or everyone will be the death of you.  Whichever comes first.
Legolas: Personally, I'd prefer-
AW: Yes, we all know what you would prefer...

can’t take it anymore

AW: You too? Well, at least we're in agreement on something.

A/N: I'm such a drama queen. Thank you all reviewing! I really appreciate it. Don't worry, I plan on making this a long fic.
Aragorn: We do not handle threats well.

I'd like to make it like at least 15 or 20 chapters long.

Legolas: (hopefully) Short chapters?

Well, we shall see how things go.

Drew: Down the crapper?
AW: Too late for that.

I think I got inspiration for a future chapter from a certain song.

AW: ARUGH! Song fic!!!

It's called "Earl" by Dixie Chicks. It's really funny, "cuz Earl had to die!"

Legolas: That's funny?
AW: Yeah, the song is funny, but not much else.

I think I'll have a song fic type of chapter like that. Let me know what you think about that one.

Legolas: Done and done.

Well, what're you doing still listening to me?! Read on!

Drew: (Igor) Yeth Mathster. Right away.

~*~*~

Legolas lead Stacie to an ancient tree,

AW: (hopefully) The Whomping Willow?

where beneath sat a fairy lady.

Drew: Glinda, the good witch of the North?

When she looked at her, Stacie saw wisdom and days of trial in her eyes.

Aragorn: Usually, people see just light reflections, but do go on.

But before anything could be said, Legolas spun around and was gone in an instant.

Legolas: Leaving a me-shaped cloud behind.

"Come, sit here with me." She followed her instruction and sat down beneath the tree.

Drew: She, who?
AW: Excuse me, has anyone seen a modifier anywhere?

For a long time there was silence. But it was peaceful, not akward.

Drew: Or awkward.

 Finally, Eowyn broke the silence.

Legolas: You break it, you bought it.

"Tell me about your world, and what it was that you did there, please."

Aragorn: (Eowyn) But leave out the boring parts, I've had a long day.

"I dunno. There are just alot of wars, angry people. For me there's never a moment's rest."

AW: (sarcastically) Wow. I'm so impressed by that description; that could be any world!

"Why is that?"
"My job is very demanding of me."

Drew: (Stacie) The customers at Tim Horton's want their coffee and they want it now!

"Oh, I see." The two women sat there, continuing in the conversation.

Drew: (Stacie) And then I made a medium when he had actually ordered a large.  The next guy was even more annoying...

Stacie was careful to stay away from the subject of what type of work she did, and thankfully Eowyn never asked. It was probably an hour or two later when Eowyn rose from where she sat,

Legolas: (Eowyn) You bore me. Leave my presence.

motioning for Stacie to follow suit.
"It is almost time for you to meet with the Council (a/n: please forgive for mispelling that in earlier chapters!).

AW: NEVER!

But if ever you need a friend or someone to speak with, pleaes come to me.

Aragorn: (Eowyn) I could use a good laugh.

I shall be staying in Gondor a little while longer before returning to my home in Rohan."
"Thank you." So then the two continued to walk down to the library.

AW: (Eowyn) Shall we prance?

When Stacie entered the library, she recognized everyone from the Fellowship there(a/n: except Boromir of course),

Legolas: He was wearing a disguise.

as well as many others. Gandalf rose and led her to a seat.

AW: The electric chair?

When she sat down, she saw Legolas, but he wouldn't look at her.

Legolas: Just the sight of her would turn my stomach, naturally.

She sighed. Of course he wouldn't look at her.

Drew: She had a huge, ugly zit.

(It's not like I actually would have gone through with it!

Aragorn: Much to the audience's dismay.

Fine, if he wants to ignore me then I shall do just the same to him.)

AW: (Stacie, whiney) I know you are, but what am I?

So all during the whole entire time of the meeting she never once looked at the Elf.

Aragorn: (Stacie) That will teach him!

Shortly after she entered, the door was closed and everything became hushed.

AW: The walls, the books, the tables, even the floor.

"My dear lady, I believe we could help out your situation more if perhaps we knew a little about your life from where you lived." Gandalf asked. (I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.) Galariel raised a brow.

Drew: (Galadriel) Get her, my minions!

(Oops. Didn't mean it!)

Drew: (Galadriel) ....And her little dog too!

Stacie cleared her throat.

AW: With Drain-o?

"Do you mean like family history and stuff like that?"
"Yes.

Drew: (Stacie) Well, my Great, Great, Great Uncle Stantlin built the May Flower, and-
Aragorn: (Gandalf) Enough!

Maybe of any odd things that have happened to you, any special or strange events."

AW: Yes, she did survive a collision with the bulkhead.

"Well, my mom died while she giving birth to me.

AW: Do people still do that, even in our time?
Legolas: It's time to play Sue's Clues!

So, I never knew her.

Drew: (Stacie) I named my invisible friend after her.

My dad was a workaholic, someone obsessed with their work. So he was never home.

Aragorn: (Stacie) He moved into his office when I was six.

There was always a babysitter around , though.""And what was her name?"
"Jennifer.

AW: (Stacie) She's my hero!

She was always there for me, more like a sister than anything else.

Legolas: (Stacie) And a little like a brother.

Well, my dad was murdered when I was only sixteen."

Legolas: What's that? You see a Sue Clue?

"I am sorry to hear that."

Aragorn: (Stacie, darkly) I murdered him!

"It's okay. Well, Jennifer then took me under her wing.

AW: I've heard of Big Bird babysitting kids, but not like this...

She helped find a place on my own when I was eighteen. Her guidance was very helpful. After my dad died, she helped me find a way to survive."

Aragorn: (Stacie) I can now kill a bear with my bare hands!

"And what way was that?" Elrond asked. She shrugged. She couldn't possibly tell them the truth.

Legolas: (Galadriel) I know I can read your thoughts, girl... meow meow meow meow...

"Just tricks of the trade. Basic ways to get over emotional obsticles."

Drew: (Stacie) I used to trip over them before.

"What do you mean by tricks of the trade? What trade do you speak of?" Stacie started to fidget. "Please, we mean you no harm. We just want to help you find your way home." Aragorn spoke softly.

AW: (darkly) A home... of murder!

"It's like what I said. The basic ways to survive when someone important in you life leaves you. That's what I meant."

AW: (darkly) Leaves you with a case of murder!

She could feel her pulse speed up. (I can't take anymore of this!)

Legolas: (Stacie) My head is going to explode!
AW: (happily) Boom!

She thought. (Do you fear we will found a secret in which you keep?)

Drew: I fear the changes in tenses within that one statement.

She immediately straightened as she heard a voice inside of her head that was not her own. Galadriel.

Aragorn: Riiiiiiiiight. The mind reading one. Forgot about her!

She was speaking to her. (No, I don't. We're just on a subject which I haven't over in a long time.)

Legolas: "Haven't over in a long time"? Wudda-budda?
Drew: (Stacie) Well, since yesterday, anyway.
AW: Wow, time sure flies when you're killing people.

(You have just told us it was okay. It must be something else, which you do not wish to share. You afraid something bad will happen if you say it.) (No! I don't. Please...stop. I can't take anymore of this.) She pleaded to Galadriel.

Aragorn: (Galadriel, fingers in ears) La la la! I'm not listening!

"Are you okay?" Pippin, who sat next to her, whispered. "You're shaking."

AW: (Pippin) Can I have what you're having?

She looked down at her hands.

Aragorn: She had two of them!

They were trembling almost violently.

Drew:  Cut down on the caffine, honey.

Why was she like this?

Leoglas: Author's whim!

She never lost her composure so badly like this.

AW: She kept it on a chain and everything!

She had always managed to remain calm when interrogated by authorities, so why not now?

Drew: It's in the script.

"I feel sick." She said in a barely audible whisper.

AW: Bathroom's down the hall.

"Whatever happened to the man that murdered your father?" Gimli asked sympathetically.

Aragorn: (Stacie, darkly) I killed him too.

She tried to keep her body from shaking.

Legolas: In doing so, she started to shake the table.

Memories wouldn't stop flashing through her mind as she thought back to that dreadful day.

AW: (Stacie) That's what I get for investing in Microsoft Power Point.

Flashbacks hit her mind hard.

AW: (hopefully) Harder than a bulkhead?

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

Legolas: I had cut out her tongue! (cackles)

The room wouldn't stop spinning,

AW: (singing) You spin me right round, baby. Right round, like a record.... (holds his hand out for cheese)
(Drew places a bowl of grapes. AW looks confused.)
Drew: That's to counteract the cheese.

and it seemed like the lights were being dimmed, slowly.

Drew: (mystically) ...go towards the light....

She lost her strength,

Aragorn: (Stacie) Catch me, Legolas!
Legolas: Stop that!

and before she knew what was happening she was on the ground, out cold.

Legolas: I've got her legs. Now where are we taking her?
~*~*~

A/N: Well, didya like it?

AW: Stop asking - we've already told you.

Okay, I'm gonna make a deal. I know some authors have done this before, and I think it's a good idea.

Drew: (author) I'm going to claim I've got writer's block and start a new fic that I like better.

I want FIVE reviews before I continue onto the next chapter! Actually, I'll go ahead and write it, I just won't post it until I get five reviews.

Aragorn: (author) So nyah!

So start writing your opinions! Heehee. =)

AW: I'm tired of being redundant. Let's just go to the next chapter, because we all know she wrote more.


(to be continued)