It's 2:00 in the morning. Do I know where my pants are?
>You know, everytime
I see this kind of f-----g s---,
>it makes me want to puke.
AW: Bathroom's down the hall
and to your right.
Legolas: Try not to get it on anything.
>If any of you a------s
>any REAL writing talent, you'd shut the f--- up and
>get to work on your own damn fanfics.
AW: Well, whaddya know... I was working on "Fellowship of the Urn" ch 3, just tonight, and peeked in here to see what was up.
> Come to think
>of it, if you had any real writing talent, you
>wouldn't even be bothering with the s-------e that is
Legolas: That is supplied so kindly for us at ff.net.
>and you'd actually be
getting PAID for
>what you write.
AW: I, for one, want to be
Legolas: (cheerfully) I want to be a Mary Sue assassin and work for the PPC! They're my heroes!
>Like a group of grade-school
>like you know what the f--- good writing is and how to
AW: I could probably give you a few lessons about language... For example, here's the learning stick. Next, I shall beat you over the head with it until you clean up your vocabulary.
>If you had half a brain-cell between you,
Legolas: We'd be you?
>you'd realize that fan
fiction is a s------e for
>dilitantes and poseurs with literary pretentions, and
>the rest of the literary world laughs at your a---s,
>that is when they aren't trying to get you shut down
>for copyright infringement.
AW: Except for the fact that most of the world doesn't give a rip about fans writing fanfiction save Anne Rice and a few others.
>And when you DO try
>hand at original works, it's the worst, most
>boring---- s--- imaginable.
Legolas: Is this the voice of experience?
>You think you're the
first group of morons to try to
>"clean up" fanfiction.net?
AW: No. Should we?
>I've got news for
>you--there have been plenty of supergroups who tried
>before you. Tried and failed? No. TRIED AND DIED.
Legolas: The pain of the Sues and tripe got too much for them.
>Why? Because the guys
who were in them got bored,
>realized that the leaders/organizers were dumb f-----g
>egomaniacs, and left.
AW: Have you seen a leader
Legolas: That I have not, friend. Did I miss them at the annual Christmas party?
>This group won't be
AW: Seeing as there is no leader, we've already got one right there on you.
>Hell, you'll probably
be gone quicker,
>because your spreading your f-----g little legs too
Legolas: (shocked) I beg your pardon?
>Godawful--you'll be gone in two months, tops.
AW: In. Your. Dreams. Pal.
>dumb s---s probably think that ff.net is the end-all,
>be-all of fan fiction, and you can't find any of your
>s----y trifles anywhere else.
AW: On the contrary, I have my own site for posting my "trifles" and I only post on ff.net because I can, not because it's the air I breathe.
your time even spamming these
Legolas: But then what would we do on a rainy Saturday night with nothing to do?
>Go back to your little
hellhole and do
>something non-productive like you usually do.
AW: Like msting stupid rants like this one? Done and done!
>Bottom line: Anyone
DUMB ENOUGH to take fan fiction
>seriously should get
Legolas: ... a life?
Javier's d--- up their
>they change their tune.
AW: A high tenor?
>--burnt out fanfic writer
Legolas: Got flamed too much?
AW: Crispy, crunchie author
>--Dark "God-Author" of Eva fiction; ex-Darkscribe
Legolas: Should I be impressed?
AW: No idea. Never heard of him before. *offers some* Peanuts?
'I know FF.net harbors much that is Godawful, but this is just ridiculous.' by The REAL AC
Msted by Al's Waiter
(msted without permission - like I needed it)
Msting concept belongs to Best Brains
Legolas and other Lord of the Rings characters belong J. R. R. Tolkien and his kin.
Special Thanks to:
The GAFF board for being so supportive