(The three msters walk into the theatre - AW is trying to balance two buckets of popcorn, a large coke and a jumbo bag of skittles, while Legolas and Link are in deep discussion.)

Legolas: But you are not royalty! How is that possible?
Link: (flustered) I don't know! She calls herself my "Queen", yet I am a commoner! My mother died when I was just a child and was raised as a Kokiri.
Legolas: The Queen is married to the King, which in turn, is Princess Zelda's father, correct?
Link: Yes, that's right.
AW: Uh... guys? Could I have a little... help here?
Legolas: (completely ignoring AW) And your family is not related to her in any way?
Link: No.
Legolas: And Jenna has no royal blood in her either?
Link: Not that I'm aware of...
Legolas: Therefore, with the simple logic that is supplied to us-
AW: Uh...guys?!
Legolas: (continuing) -the only way for you to have a "Queen" is for-
Link: (finishing) -Me to marry Zelda!

(The three reach their seats, and AW, with great talent and smoothness, puts down all the food down with out spilling a drop, kernal, or hardcoated candy with the little white 's'.)

AW: (sarcastically) Thanks a heap for the hand, guys.
Legolas: (cheerfully) Our pleasure! What is on the ripping block tonight, my friend?
AW: Well, we have one of the loudest rants that LQ's ever done, as far as I know.
Legolas: Loudest? But how can it be loud if it is only in text form?
AW: ... You'll see. (calls up) Okay Boun-

(The air ripples. With a rather undignified thump, a darkly dressed figure falls out of the air.)

Mysterious person: Oh, not again. Where have I ended up now?
Legolas: Uh... AW, were you expecting another guest?
AW: (wide eyed at the figure) Not that... I'm aware of...

(Like lightning, Legolas readies his bow.)

Mysterious figure: That's gratitude for you. I stomp over fangirls for you and you point a bow at me. I feel hurt and betrayed. Hi, AW. You haven't seen a little Sue trying to run off with a Silmaril, have you?
AW: (unsure of what to make of the situation) Uh... nnnnoo, not as such. ... should I have?
Mysterious figure: Bugger. I knew I should have left the mini-Balrogs to chase this one.
AW: ... Minis? (gets an idea) Bounce, could you raise the house lights a bit?

(The lights get slightly brighter and reveal, ...)

AW: Miss Cam?!? (high pitched, panicked) Eep! Am I suppose to be in class right now?!

Miss Cam: Probably. What are you doing, and why is that non-Middle-earthian Elf looking like he is about to have a root canal?
Link: (gloomily) Worse.
Miss Cam: How can... AW! Are you subjecting these to LQ?!
AW: (sinks down in his seat, meekly) ... Yes Miss Cam.

(Legolas and Link look at each other.)

Link: (whispering) Miss Cam?
Legolas: (whispering) The course co-ordinator at a University that attemps to educate Middle-earth fangirls.
Link: (whispering) How is it going?
Legolas: (whispering) Well, let's just say... she enjoys teaching through pain.
Link: (whispering) I like the sound of that.
Miss Cam: Well, I have been considering testing the effectiveness of LQ as a pain-inflicter. This may be a brilliant opportunity to observe how educational it is. You don't mind, do you AW?
AW: Um...
Miss Cam: Otherwise, you know, I'd have to question what you're doing out of class with a staff member, with another staff member.
AW: (nervously) That staff member wouldn't happen to be Lord Elrond, would it?
Miss Cam: Why, yes! How did you guess?
AW: (very nervous) Heh... I'm really good at guessing games. Deal!
Miss Cam: Eeeeexecellent. Give me some of that popcorn and start the horridness.

(AW passes one of the buckets down for Link and Miss Cam to share, thanking the powers that be that he had bought two buckets.)

AW: (voice cracking) Brace yourself, Legolas. (shouting) Okay Bouce! Roll it!
Legolas: Why do I have to brace myself?

" THIS IS THE LAST STRAW "

ALRIGHT!

Legolas: GAH! (falls out of the chair)
Miss Cam: It does make me wonder how all her previous straws were

I HAVE ASKED FOR THE LAST TIME FOR PEOPLE NOT TO RESPOND TO TILLY AND NO ONE LISTENED!

AW: (hands over ears) Probably because they were rendered deaf!
Legolas: (getting up, twitching) Must she do that?
AW: (now hard of hearing) What?!

NOW, EVERYONE'S GOT 24 HRS TO GET OUT OF THE GUILD, FOR I AM GOING TO KILL THIS ENTIRE THING! I WARNED EVERYONE AND NO ONE LISTENED. NOW THERE WILL BE NO GUILD FOR YOU PEOPLE TO RESPOND ON!

Miss Cam: Hmmm.... Caps Lockigits. Known to be deadly to the human ear...

GO TO HER FREAKIN GUILD FOR ALL I CARE YOU TRAITOROUS INGRATES I SO GRACIOUS BENT OVER BACKWARDS FOR!

Legolas: (to Link) Didn't she actually make you bend over backwards when...
Link: Lalala! Not listening!

I JUST LOVE HOW MY GENEROSITY IS SOON FORGOTTEN BY SO MANY!

AW: (LQ) For my words have been anything but few...

SPECIALLY MATT AND SHIEKIE! NO MATTER, I AM REMOVING ALL MY ACCOUNTS TODAY, AND BLOWING UP THIS GUILD TOMORROW!

Legolas: (LQ) I am writing it in my daily planner right now.
AW: Right underneath 'Shag Lin-"
Link: Stop it!

YOU PEOPLE WANT TO SIDE WITH THAT B1TCH TILLY, BE MY GUEST! THEN YOU'RE NO FREAKIN FRIENDS OF MINE!

Miss Cam: (Random guildperon) Hmm, sanity or being LQ's friend? Choices, choices...

NONE OF YOU GIVE A CRAP ABOUT ME AND THE G** D@MN GRACIOUS THINGS I HAVE DONE FOR THIS GUILD!

AW: (LQ) I have stolen for this guild! I have given my sweat and blood for it!
Legolas: Ew.
Miss Cam: Don't forget the urine.
Link: I try to, but I can't. I can't! (sobs)

NONE OF YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I'VE DONE FOR YOU PEOPLE HERE!

Link: (LQ) I said you could worship the ground I walk on!
Legolas: (LQ) I shared my innermost fantasies with you! How dare you forget such a gift!

SOON FORGOTTEN HOW I PROTECTED EVERYONE AND STOOD BESIDE EVERYONE WHEN THE CHIPS WERE DOWN!

AW: Barbaque are my favourite. Yum.

AND SPECIALLY YOU, SHIEKIE! I STOOD BEHIND YOU THE ENTIRE WAY AFTER YOUR FRIEND COMMITTED SU1C1DE, AND WHAT DO I GET?!

Legolas: (LQ) People who actually think for themselves! How dare you!
Miss Cam: What su1c1de, anyway? Some new form of algebra?

BLOODY TRAITORESS!

AW: That's the female version of a traitor.
Legolas: Oooooo....

THANK YOU SHIEKIE FOR YOUR WONDERFUL KINDNESS IN RETURN FOR WHAT I SO GRACIOUSLY GAVE YOU!

AW: (Shiekie, cheerfully) You're welcome!

I JUST LOVE THE BLOODY BASK-STABBING I'VE RECEIVED OVER A G D@MN, BLOODY PICTURE! A G D@MMN INANIMATE OBJECT GETTING IN THE WAY OF FRIENDSHIPS, CAUSING CHAOS, MAKING NOISE! GAH, MORE THEN IT'S WORTH!

Legolas: Is it possible to stab a bask?
Miss Cam: Well, you can stab someone basking, but that would be basking-stabbing, not bask-stabbing. Perhaps she meant a-bask in stabbings..
Link: Or maybe she just forgot to proofread.
AW: Are you kidding? She never proof reads rants! That's what makes them so entertaining.

YOU WANT THE BLOODY OBJECT REMOVED!? FINE! YOU'LL GET YOUR WISH AS THERE WILL BE NO GUILD FOR IT TO BE ON BY TOMORROW!

AW: (hopefully) Promise?
Miss Cam: But tomorrow will be today tomorrow, so tomorrow there will be no tomorrow, and today will be yesterday...
Legolas: Time is so fluid
Link: Not when you're in a LQ fic. Time siezes to exist.

I AM NO ONE DOOR MAT,

Legolas: (LQ) I'm two actually.

AND NEVER WILL BE! NO ONE SHOWED THIS KIND OF PROTECTION FOR ME WHEN MY BLOODY STORY WAS PLAGIARIZED 3 TIMES ON FANFICTION, OR WHEN THE BLOODY D@MN MST WAS DONE!

AW: Like this one? Oh, right. We forgot the blood.
Link: We'll remember next time.

BUT, EVERYONE SOON JUMPS TO THE PROTECTION OF SOMEONE ELSE! ONE-SIDED I SAY! THIS WHOLE BLOODY THING IS ONE-SIDED!

Miss Cam: (LQ) There is only my side.

F%^$ IT ALL! I SAID I DIDN'T NEED THIS BLOODY GOD FORSAKEN GUILD, AND I MEAN WHAT I SAY! AT LEAST ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY AND NICE OVER THERE, AND DON'T ARGUE OVER STUPID CRAP SUCH AS THIS!

Link: (LQ) I will find somewhere else to sacrifice blood to my forsaken God
Miss Cam: (LQ) They are brainwashed like a proper guild over there!

NO ONE CARES HOW MUCH I HURT NOW, AND I AM NOT WORRIED.

AW: (clentches eyes closed) Geez, I'm getting a headache from all this shouting. Is there any way to turn it down?

I AM WAY PAST APATHETIC NOW, AND AT THE POINT WHERE NOTHING COULD MATTER!

Miss Cam: You're not embracing the pain. Think of it as... Exercise.
(AW shuts up.)

I HAVE WONDERFUL TILLY TO THANK FOR MY NEW ATTITUDE!

Legolas: (LQ) It's Tilly's fault I hate the world!

I ALWAYS USED TO CARE, BUT WHY BOTHER? NO ONE GIVES A $H1T ABOUT ME!

Link: (brightly) Got that right!

SO, WHY SHOULD I?!

AW: Beats me.

NOOO, A BLOODY INANIMATE OBJECT, A D@MN PICTURE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN HUMAN LIFE, AND YOU CAN HAVE IT! LET THE BLOODY THING RUNS YOUR LIVES, IT DOESN'T RUN MINE!

Miss Cam: (LQ) It's not like I have a crush on a bunch of pixels and let that run MY life!
Link: Hey!
Miss Cam: You're a very cute bunch of pixels, though.
Link: ....

AS THE PHOENIX DIES AND RISES FROM IT'S OWN ASHES, SO WILL THIS GUILD.

Legolas: No! Phoenix! I won't go back there! You can't make me!
Link: Pardon?
AW: Let it pass...

I WILL START THE HE11 OVER IF I HAVE TO, AND AS MANY TIMES AS NEED BE!

AW: Though I may have to take an extinguisher with me.

I AM THAT PHOENIX, IN SPIRIT, WITH DREAMS, HOPES, AND COMPASSION THAT MOST OF YOU DO NOT KNOW! LET THE PHOENIX RISE ONCE MORE, SO SHE MAY PREVAIL!!

Miss Cam: Anyone else ready to declare the phoenix analogy dead? (All raise their hands) LQ, you are hearby banned from reading mythology ever again.

FINAL NOTE: GOOD BYE EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU'LL FIND NEW GUILDS TO GO TO. I ALREADY HAVE ONE!

Legolas: (LQ) Link'sPhoenix.com

-=HITS THE AUTO-DESTRUCT BUTTON=-

AW: Vreeep! Vreeep! Vreeep!
Legolas: Let the firewords begin!

" Re: no links_queen "

Sorry Linkie jr.

Link: But your mother is insane.

The destruction has already begun.

AW: (LQ) And ticket sales are going well.

This is the HARDEST decsion I have EVER made,

Legolas: (twitches) Again with the random capitalised words.
Miss Cam: (coughs in a rather embarrassed manner)

but, I say WHAT I mean to do, and THIS is my proof! I'll let you join my other guild. DO NOT under any circumstances tell ANYone the link to this guild! I DON'T want some people here going there, and stirring up trouble for my guild leader.

Legolas: Gasp! You mean she isn't the guild leader?
Miss Cam: I give her five minutes on that guild before she stages a coup.

I removed all my bloody accounts,

Link: (LQ) Blood stains are the hardest to get out.
AW: (announer) But not for Di di 7.

took everyone off the council except Snapps(MY TRUE friend on this bloody sinking ship!),

AW: (Navi) Quick Link! The ship is sinking! Get off onto the ledge!
Link: (sniffs) I miss Navi.

and removed ALL admin functions! You people have treaded on a thin wire with me, and it SNAPPED!

Miss Cam: (LQ) Much like my mind

Now, everyone reaps the consequences!

AW: Careful of the prickles.

Next them, think before you become a bloody traitor against me and side with my enemies! I was gracious in the beginning, but, I am not so nice ANYMORE!

Legolas: (LQ) You can tell by my rambling speech pattern!
Link: (LQ) When I was nice, I gave you all Caps Lock.

AND... if you SIDE or SIDED with Tilly, forget my bloody e-mail, forget my bloody AIM and MSN SN's and BLOODY FORGET ABOUT ME!

Link: If only I could!!
Legolas: I think she should see someone about all the bloody things she has lying around.
Miss Cam: And stop trying to sound Aussie.
AW: I thought that was British...
Miss Cam: The Aussies evolved it into an art

I DON'T need traitors, and I DON'T need INGRATES!

AW: (LQ) What I need IS to get this BLOODY capslock FIXED.

As the b1tch Tilly once said to me... "I can live without people and those kind of qualities."

Link: Tilly's my hero!

AND I WILL ALSO! If you people want to be her friend, EVEN AFTER all the rotten things she's said about some of you on the MST board, SPECIALLY YOU SHIEKIE, then be my guest!

(AW hums the 'Be My Guest' chorus.)

But, maybe you won't feel so compelled to side with her AFTER seeing what she said!

Legolas: (LQ) In fact, you feel compelled to become her humble minion forever

Here, go to the MST board, shift through the archives and READ what she said about you WHILE you were having those su1c1de thoughts. http://mstings.tripod.com

AW: (Bold Font) Sweet! Linkage!
Link: Hmm? Pardon?

But, if you DECIDE after reading them that YOU DON'T like her, DON'T come crying back to me on how m3333an she was to you!

Legolas: AW, you know you're really m3333an for making me read this.
Miss Cam: (proudly) I taught him well
(AW grins.)

You've ALREADY burnt the bridge between us, and THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW!

Miss Cam: (LQ) Except, of course, that I will run back in less than a day faster than Roadrunner

ANY OTHER TAKERS?!

Legolas: (LQ) Final offer!

Lets burn SOME MORE bridges while where at it! I am all up to a bon fire tonight!

AW: (LQ) There'll be smores!

here REALLY ISN'T going to be anything to save this guild now! I believe EVEN formal apologies won't help this time! What's done is done, and a lesson MUST be learned here, today.

Link: (LQ) And learn it well. I am melodramatic and prone to rambling with, weird comma placement.
Legolas: You forgot the RANDOM capitalisation
Link: Thank you, I'd just managed that

Next time, DO WHAT your guild leader says, and DON'T take advantage of his/her generosity when it's SO graciously given!

AW: Is this a priceless gem of wisdom?

Remember, if people DIDN'T have such insubordination, DIRECT insurrection, then MAYBE this guild wouldn't be on its way to its doom!

AW: (Gir) I'm going to sing the Doom song now! Doom doom doom doom...

Think of THAT next time you defy a guild leader's DIRECT orders!

Legolas: Aye sir! (salutes)

This is my FINAL message. Any other business, apologies and or complaints can be directed to my e-mail now. This guild is NOW destroyed.

Link: (cheerfully) Boom.

Goodbye. I hope everyone does well out there.

Legolas: (LQ) May the wind be always at your back.

-Links Queen signing off.

AW: (LQ, signing) ... Uh.. how do you make an 'X' again?

Link: (cheers) Yes! We're done!
Miss Cam: Not so fast, grasshopper
Link: (looking worried) ...

" I have a LAST few words. "

Legolas: The end. Let's go!

If people want to UNDERSTAND why I got so upset, read the e-mail I sent to DG. This explains PERFECTALLY WHY I did what I did.

Link: (LQ) I snapped!

Letter to DG:
...????? O_o !!!!!! WAIDDAMINUTE?! You're LISA?! The VERY same one who Beta'ed my fics?! O.o O.o O.o O.O

Miss Cam: Meanwhile, on planet Kwat'zat, aliens begun to dechiper the code and sent back O.oo.O

I THOUGHT something wasn't right when a copy of Forbidden Love with the title encoded in that special font I used showed up on the MST board.

Legolas: It smelled.
AW: It stunk more like it.
(Legolas giggles.)

I know I only used that specific font on my computer and it changed when I posted it on the guild. You were the only other person to receive a copy of that fic.

Miss Cam: (LQ) Yet I did not add 2 and 2 and got 4

No... I... I cannot hate you, I REFUSE to!

Link: (LQ) Can't make me! (puts his fingers in his ears) La la la la la!

You had been SO kind to me. Beta'ing my fics. Listening to my feelings.

Legolas: (LQ) Rubbing my back.

Just being my friend all together.

Link: (LQ) 'Cause I was the friend all apart.

Oh... God I am struggling so hard not to cry hard.

AW: (LQ) My keys are rusting.

I am literally crying while writing this, and struggling to hold from bursting out.

Legolas: Like a tiger, no doubt. GRRRR! GRRRR!
Link: Stop it!
Legolas: (very low) Grrrr...

Oh God... If only words could show my actual sadness at this point...

AW: (LQ) But enough about that, let's talk MORE about me!

My only question is... Why? Why the deception, the charade?

Legolas: (LQ) Why does the obeo sound like a sick duck?

You could've came outright and told me who you were.

Miss Cam: (LQ) I would still believe it was Tilly, however. It's always Tilly. Tilly. Tilly. Tilly.

Regardless, your kindness and endearing qualities would've made us friends real fast, despite who you really were.

AW: (LQ) But Tilly on the other hand...

I... I don't know what to say.

Legolas: (LQ) I... I can't type properly. I... I am pausing in text.
Link: The question 'Why' comes again to mind.

I feel so bad that I could've EVER treated you the way I have in the past.

Link: (LQ) But it will not stop me from doing the same in the future. Learning for mistakes is for wussies

OH DIN I FEEL SO HORRIBLE!

Link: (LQ) Oh, let me just be consumed by her fire right. Now.

No, please don't have pity for me,

AW: (singing) Ar-gen-teeeee-na!

as I don't wallow in it myself.

Legolas: (makes some hog sounds)

I deserved this, I made a sin, and God said I deserved this consequence.

AW: ... (LQ) ...He told me... last night...?

I am SO sorry and I beg your forgiveness. Please forgive me for my wrong doings.

Link: (LQ) So that I may commit new ones
Miss Cam: I'm getting a horrid sense of deja vu...

Yes. I would LOVE for you to continue to beta...

AW: (DG) But... do I want that kind of mental torture?

That's if you still want to.

Legolas: (DG) No... that's okay. I'll just use that time with my theropist now.

If you do not, then I understand whole heartily.

Miss Cam: (LQ) But I will still stick needles in my DG voodoo doll

But... I CANNOT help but feel like a first class heal! The THINGS I've said to you, all the ROTTEN things...

Legolas: What is a heal?
Link: An infected heel?
Legolas: Sounds about right
Link: And very rotten it is, indeed

-=Hits self over head with dictonary=-

AW: (LQ) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I guess in a way, I can never forgive myself for what I've done to you.

Legolas: (LQ) For forgiveness I can not do it to anyone!

Maybe you can, surely God can, but...(pause) I cannot. I am sorry.

AW: (LQ) I'm ready for my close up Mr. DaVille!

The words play over and over again in my mind. Repeating itself like a broken record.

Link: So you know how we feel.

Kind words, compassion, pity, sadness and caring.

AW: (singing) These are a few of my favourite things....

You've showed me ALL those feelings. And as DG, I treated you like... yes, I'll say it...

Legolas: Toast.
Link: Burnt toast.

$H1T!! -=Hits self over head again with her dictonary=-

AW: (LQ) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Now I feed dirty, sinful and just plain scummy. >__<

Miss Cam: (sings) Dirrrrrty....
Legolas: Aiii!
Miss Cam: I'd think you were used to that song by now
Legolas: It still burns

I LOATHE being angry. LOATHE IT!

AW: (LQ) Loooooooathe!

I have had the upbringing of ALWAYS putting OTHER'S FIRST and MYSELF last.

Legolas: (LQ) Though I have selective amnesia.

And despite the attitude I may have acquired over my past years, specially from the brutal years of school, I am STILL last.

Miss Cam: (LQ) I never heard the starter.

Bending over backwards for people,

Link: Make it stop!

even ones I don't know quite as well as ones I do, going out on a limb, being VERY gracious and generous, is my way of life.

AW: (LQ) Bow to me and you shall be spared!

EVEN taking people I hardly know and doing whatever I can for them. Like Shiekie.

Legolas: Wasn't she bellowing at her before? ..No.. wait... never mind. I remember how she is...
Miss Cam: But you pray for amnesia, yes?
Legolas: Every day.

No, I don't know her as well as some, but, when she threatened to commit su1c1de, I was scared and deeply upset.

AW: (LQ) Because I wasn't the beneficiary.

Maybe my actions may have been wrong, but my heart was in the right place, and I cared.

Link: For if she went, who would then worship me?
AW: (LQ) Obviously...

My only disadvantage... I don't expect much in return,

Legolas: (LQ) Just your utmost admiration and mindless praise!

but, when I should receive, I wish people would only show their appreciation for what I've done for them,

Link: (LQ) Build a shrine of me and bow down to it as least twenty times a day.

and only treat me respectfully.

Miss Cam: Not even God asks this much of you

I could NEVER ask as much back as I gave them...

Link: (LQ) I gave you me! How can you ever repay that?
Legolas: I can think of a few things...

I could NEVER ask for anything more then,

AW: (LQ) Now on the other hand....

appreciation and gratefulness for what I've done.

Legolas: (LQ) You're not groveling low enough!

I only ask for people to acknowledge what I do for them,

Link: Endless, neverending excrusicating pain
Legolas: Still bitter?
Link: Until the end of days, my friend

and only respect any wishes I may have in return.

AW: Do you have to return at all?

I don't like to be taken advantage of for my kindness.

Link: (LQ) I will roll heads!

I am a VERY giving person.

Miss Cam: She's the gift that keeps on giving, all right.

Hell, I'd even give my OWN life for my Best Friend if need be.

AW: (LQ) I'd die for Link!

I care about her, and she's like family to me.

Legolas: (LQ) Along with all my stuffed animals!

If she were dying, and I could save her life even if it meant my death, I'd sacrifice myself to do so.

Link: Yet she refuses to spare my life the pain and horror of.... Well, her.
Legolas: Shhhh. LQ rant. Logic not allowed

Friends are VERY special to me, and I cherish them to the end,

AW: Until they "betray" you, because they have a mind of thier own and "follow" Tilly as one of her "minions".

despite the status of the relationship. Whether it may be, internet, personal, distant or close, I ALWAYS care, even if I NEVER see their face.

Miss Cam: (LQ) I lucid dream of them often, so I know their face
(AW shudders)

Like I said, I only hate being taken advantage of. Sometimes I ask myself, why am I so kind?

AW: (LQ) Then I usually answer myself, "Because you're a git, sweetie and will most likely be nothing else."

I usually get kicked in the @$$ for it later on.

AW: (LQ) Because I am such a git.

But no, it's my nature to be kind.

AW: A kind of a git.

And would I do it again? Does the ocean flow with shades of blue?

Miss Cam: No, it flows with the tides.

Even though I may end up the sap in the long run,

AW: (snort) No argument there.
Legolas: Yet, isn't she already so?

I will always be the way I am.

AW: We don't very much like threats.

Whatever impact this letter may have on you, will not change the way I will understand your reasons.

Legolas: (LQ) Whatever impact my attempt to learn English will have, will not change the horrid abuse of the comma

I can FULLY understand if you NEVER wish to talk to me again after this.

AW: Great! Let's get out of here.
Legolas: Halt. We are not finished. You brought us here and you shall remain here until the end.
AW: But she never shuts up! We could be here forever!
Legolas: You have made your bed, lie in it.

I have been so wrong.

Legolas: So sleek
Miss Cam: So hott.
AW: So intense.
Link: So shut up.

But, I must say this.

AW: (LQ) I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!

Thank you for EVERYthing you've done for me.

Legolas: (LQ) The gifts are still coming in.

I will cherish your kindness till the day I take my last breath. Your kindness will NOT be forgotten.

Link: (LQ) Until I change my mind again
Miss Cam: I give her five minutes

Even though I may not see eye to eye with Cam on everything she believes in... Just tell her... She was right.

Legolas: Cam?!
Miss Cam: Shut up.
Link: You know her?!
Miss Cam: Believe me, it pains me as much as it does you

-Jennifer (AKA Link's Queen and a First Class Heal)

AW: (LQ) So feel free to step on me.
Link: I dream of it every night

" Re: I have a LAST few words. "

AW: Oh, I hate it when she does that! I thought her "last few words" would actually be that!
Link: I think you forget who you are dealing with.
Legolas: As we all wish we could.

My point to all this... I NEVER treat ANYone's KINDNESS with ungreatfulness.

Legolas: AGAIN with the randome CAPTIALISED worDS with some letTERS halfway THROUGh the words.

Whenever someone treats me kindly, or shows me compassion, I am FIRST to return the favor.

Miss Cam: (LQ) I am also first to turn on them and feed them to the rabid tigers at the mere mention of disagreeing with me

And usually with more then I was given.

AW: (LQ) But, I have forgotten to mention Tilly for a while now, so, Tilly!

No, I DON'T expect much in return for what I do, I HARDLY ask much.

Legolas: She has mentioned that so many times that I have run out of things to answer that with.
Miss Cam: How about.... (LQ) In fact, I never ask. And see how great my English are!

I only had three wishes/rules.

AW: No! Not three!!!

1) Treat each other respectfully,

Legolas: (LQ) Mostly me....

2) Don't argue

Link: (LQ) With me...

3) I didn't want Tilly responded to here.

AW: (Brando) TILLY!!!
Miss Cam: You know, following LQ reasoning, does anyone else think the real threat to global stability on peace on earth is Tilly?
(All raise their hands)
Miss Cam: Thought so.

My wishes were easy to follow, and NOT much to ask.

AW: (LQ) Just remember who controls the world here.

Everyone KNOWS my feelings about Tilly, and the 7 month long war she is trying to carry against me.

Link: And counting.

I NEVER told ANYone to NOT talk to her,

Legolas: (LQ) Just not to acknowledge her exsistance.

I just didn't want it done here,

Link: (LQ) Or anywhere

as her only goal when she posts here, is to bash my character.

Legolas: (LQ) Queen Jenna is not me!!!

She NEVER has one kind thing to say about me.

Link: But LQ never bashes Tilly, no
Legolas: Perish the thought!

I got SO upset when everyone started replying to her.

AW: (LQ) It was like I was forgotten and she had friends!
Link: So true.

When everyone started going against the smallest request I asked.

Link: (LQ) I got a feel for what it was like in the real world and I didn't like it!

It WASN'T much to follow, and WASN'T much to ask. If Tilly WASN'T so rude to me, I would NOT get upset when she posts here.

AW: Why not BAN her FROM joining your GUILD, since it IS your GUILD?

At this point, I DON'T hate her, but, I DO NOT want to be friends, as she stated the same towards me.

Miss Cam: How do you state something towards someone?
Link: Like this (holds up a certain finger)
Miss Cam: Ah, now I see

I can forgive her, but, I CAN NEVER forget.

Miss Cam: (Pride and Prejudice-esque) In these cirumstances, a good memory is unpardonable

Over this pic. No, I was NEVER opposed to e-mail Silvertis, I was only opposed to doing so when people SCREAMED and DEMANDED I did so, and ON THE SPOT.

AW: Well, considering that I have visited Silvertis' site long before I ever knew you and read her FAQ which stated, and I quote "Usually I don't mind people using my art in their own websites, as long as they follow my very simple copyright terms:  I want full credit, i.e my name displayed by the picture, along with a link back to my own site." Consarn it, LQ, it's only common courtesy which you obviously lack!
Miss Cam: Not the only thing, my friend.

If I were asked a bit more calmly and WITHOUT the dictations, I would've obliged right away.

Legolas: And Silvertis did.
AW: LQ NO BAKA!
Legolas: (surprised) Down, blue boy. Down!
(AW breathes heavily in frustration)

You MUST remember, attitude and the way you ask things, plays a BIG part on HOW someone will respond to what YOU want.

Miss Cam: Oh, to be able to hold a mirror up to her... Pot, meet kettle. Pot is loud and fond of Caps Lock. Kettle is trying to have the rights of artists respected. Why don't the two of you mingle?

I leave ONE last option as DG has made me feel different at this point.

Link: (LQ) But sadly for you, not different enough. I am Queen! Bow to me!

Her letter made me cry and I at this point would like to say this.

AW: (LQ) That made water come out my eye.

Okay, I will place hold on this guild.

AW: Wait... wait... she's not going to blow it up?

I will leave it open.

Legolas: Apparently.
AW: (disappointed) NO! I wanted it to blow up!

I will REMOVE the background and e-mail Silvetris.

AW: ... can we blow it up anyway?
Miss Cam: We can pretend.
Link: Let's!

Everyone can return here, if they wish and resume their old positions before the Link's Sanctuary gets moving.

Link: Why do I get the sense that Link's Sanctuary is not as much a sanctuary for me as it is the alter where my dignity and sanity shall be sacrificed?
Legolas: Because "sanctuary" is only a dream, my fellow persecuted friend.

Matt can have his postion back with FULL functions as well as Wolfie.

Legolas: (LQ) But remember you are all subject to me!

I will return all my accounts here and put the count CLOSE to where it was.

Miss Cam: (LQ) One thousand two hundred and six lucid dreams and counting...

Only rules will be. NO reesponding to Tilly.

AW: (LQ) For the love of Tilly is the root of all evil.

If she cannot say things WITHOUT getting smart and flinging insults at me, then people need to talk to her ELSEWHERE.

Miss Cam: But where is the fun in that?

I feel in a way, she was trying to convince people I am some sorta demonic person,

Legolas: You're not?
Link: Could have foolded us.

and it plays ANOTHER part in the way I feel.

Miss Cam: (brings out violin) Oh, for she fears all will hate her because of what Tilly says. Oh, woe is her.
Link: Like she wasn't making a good enough job of making that impression all by herself.

Second rule: Be nice to fellow people. No DEMANDING of ANYTHING, and asking is meerely enough.

Link: That's getting a little demandy, isn't it?

Third: NO slinging insults around.

AW: (LQ) Gently pass them around to others.

This is ALL I ask. All.

AW: (LQ) My job. My job! Repeativness is my job! Repeativness!

Nothing more. I could CARE LESS if anyone gives me ANYTHING.

Miss Cam: (LQ) Because what I want is everything

I only want to be acknolwedged on what I do for people, and a little respect is all I ask.

Legolas: (LQ) Grovel! NOW!

I am DEEPLY SORRY for the way I acted.

Link: (LQ) I'll try harder to be worse next week.

I feel so bad, SPECIALLY AFTER DG's email. It was only after people started talking to Tilly when I asked several times for people not to do so, is WHY I got so upset.

Link: (LQ) So upset my sentence structure collapsed and my sentences begun to make no sense at all
Legolas: So she's upset all the time?
Link: Yes. For Tilly is there. Tilly. Tilly. Tilly.

You need to understand that I am trying to seperate myself from her.

AW: (LQ) We were born attached at the hip.

She DOESN'T want to even TRY to get along, she DOESN'T care how she makes me feel.

Legolas: (LQ) And I make it so hard for her to find anything to mock me for, too

She only wants to laugh at me and sling more insults in my direction.

Link: (LQ) I am not humournous.

For those reasons, I want to seperate myself from her.

Legolas: The surgery will be next week.

I DON'T want to continue on with this bickerning like she wants to.

Miss Cam: (Tilly) Aw, please?

I don't want to spend the next 10-20-30 years of my life arguing with someone who DOESN'T give one crap about me.

AW: But Tilly LOVES you!

And this guild, my friends, this place I WORKED so hard to make happen for people here, was thrown back in my face when I felt stepped on by people bucking the one small rules I asked everyone to follow.

Legolas: How is it possible to be one small rules?
Miss Cam: Same way it's possible to grunt like a male tiger
Legolas: Good point

It wasn't much to ask.

Legolas: (LQ) Only your devotion!

But... I say these last few things.

AW: No. More! You've said enough and much of the same thing!

A bit may be a repeat and I hope ALL sees this. Even Matt, Deke, Bold and Cam.

Miss Cam: Oh, I see, despite many attempts to stab my eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Legolas: Ow...?
Miss Cam: Less painful than trying to beta My Inner Life, believe me.
AW: We feel your pain. Have some popcorn; no extra butter crap.

I am SO SORRY. I know words may mean NOTHING, but, it's all I can do at this point.

Link: (LQ) Since I will most likely dispises you next week.

I FEEL $h1tty, scummy, sinful and like a heal.

AW: (LQ) So, please flatten me like a pancake.

I really need to talk to Cam again.

Miss Cam: (LQ) But not listen

She has been right about what she says, ALL ALONG.

AW: For she is... (dun dun dun) ... Miss Cam!!

Cam... PLEASE e-mail me, IM me or however you can.

Miss Cam: (LQ) My CAPITAL LETTERS thee compell

I REALLY need to talk to you, I need your tongue lashings, I need your wisdom and advice.

Miss Cam: (LQ) So that I can ignore it.
Link: Bitter much?
Miss Cam: I'm past bitter; I propelled right into righteous rage

Please yell at me, I deserve it. You are ALWAYS right in what you say.

Miss Cam: THEN WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN?! Oh, I'm sorry AW, did I yell right into your ear?
AW: (looking shell shocked) Eh?
(Miss Cam grabs piece of paper, scribbles and passes it reading "Sorry, Smurf-Elf")
AW: (reads, still dazed) Oh... it happens.
Link: But more often around LQ, I've noticed

And at this point, I don't know what to do.

Link: (LQ) So, I'll say Tilly a few more times. Tilly Tilly Tilly.

Bold: -=Sigh=- I feel SO SCUMMY! And D@MMN bloody wrong. I am sorry I yelled back.

Legolas: (LQ) I should have yelled front.

OH I WISH I COULD do more, but, apoligizing is all I can do now.

Link: (LQ) But since I can fly off the handle at every little thing, my words don't mean much.

I was never mad that you thought I should contact Silvrestis, I just felt like I was being DEMANED to do so, and right away.

Legolas: (LQ) And that was just so unreasonable, given that it was her art I was displaying without permission or credit.

Actually, I should have just e-mailed her and mentioned to you I felt like I was being yelled at.

Link: Uh... yeah!

I could've addressed it better.

Legolas: Uh... yeah!

I just DON'T like being demanded when i can be asked, but, it's no excuse and I apologize.

AW: Uh...yeah!

And, as I told DG, I can completely understand if you never want to talk to me again.

Link: (LQ) But please do, since my list of friends is getting smaller very quickly. Don't really know why...

But, please forgive me.

Link: No
Legolas: No
Miss Cam: No
AW: No.
Miss Cam: The tribe has spoken.
AW: Get off our island.

More coming.

AW: I've heard worst threats!
Miss Cam: Then you are braver than most
AW: They mostly envolve "Don't make me get Elrond." Now, that is a threat!

Matt: As stated to Bold. I feel the VERY same. Scummy, dirty, sinful, BLOODY RUDE and downright mean.

Miss Cam: The Aussies and Brits agree - do not use bloody in vain and without knowing its cultural significance

I only felt you were siding with Tilly and you were agreeing what she was saying towards me was true.

Link: (LQ) But you're still really m3333333333333334n!

I am NOT like she portrays me to be.

Legolas: (LQ) I'm like how I portray me.

That is WHY I get so upset when my friends talk to her.

Link: (LQ) They could see me for what I really am.

I am SO worried she's going to paint this demonic image of me to you guys, and then EVERYONE is going to laugh and hate me.

AW: No, we can do that for ourselves. We don't need Tilly to help.

I have NEVER hated you, how can I?

Legolas: Well, 100% caps sure help.

You have been so kind as well, like I have with you in the beginning, but I believe I have now repaid your kindness with total MALICIOUSNESS

AW: Yes
Link: Yes
Legolas: Yes
Miss Cam: (LQ) And for only $5.99 I will throw in rudeness and complete disregard for your feelings!

There may NOT be much more I can do.

Legolas: This being the internet and all.

I feel VERY bad.

AW: (LQ, Rainman) Very bad. Definately, definately bad.

I just HOPE you can forgive me, and I leave the option to return to the guild if you wish, position returned and admin functions restored.

AW: Blow up the guild! Dynamite!!

On a side note, I also can fully understand if you never want to talk to me again.

Miss Cam: And miss fun like this? Never!

I just REALLY need to say that, as I feel so AWFUL for the things I've said. Please forgive me.

AW: You know, she's said that a lot. Let's keep a tally!
(AW gets out a small device from his pocket. He types something into it. It beeps.)

Forgiveness mention count at # : 8

I am not done. more coming. Please wait all.

AW: You don't scare me! (turns to Cam) You on the other hand frighten me.
Miss Cam: (blushes) You flatterer, you.
(AW winks.)

To the rest of the guild.

Legolas: (LQ) BOW TO ME!

As mentioned to everyone else previously, I feel very GUILTY for EVERYTHING I did.

Link: (LQ) But not enough to make me change my behaviour

I feel so damn asinine, moronic, stupid, sickening and nasty!

Legolas: Put your hands up and step away from the thesaurus, and no one gets hurt!

I hate MYSELF for how I have been acting. Feel dirty for my words, and moronic for my actions.

Legolas: (LQ) But I felt perfectlty fine in sharing my smutty lucid dreams about a pixel Elf with everyone on the net. That's not dirty at all.

I know words can be meaningless, of hold no value to those I wish to amend what I've done, and apologize to those I've hurt.

AW: (LQ) But I'll just try my darnedest to get you back on my side, so I can blow you all off next week.

All the talk in the world cannot change what I've done.

(Everyone shakes their heads.)

It's already happened, and what's done, is done.

Legolas: (LQ, offering) Cookies anyone?

If I had the chance, one chance, I'd go back in time, and correct my sinful mistake.

Link: (LQ) I'd do it all over again! ... no wait...

Bringing back the way everything was, is probably way beyond reach now, I just hope everyone in this guild, and out of it, can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

Miss Cam: The tribe has spoken already. Pay attention and get off the fricking island.
Link: Sometime this century would be nice.

Forgiveness mention count at # : 9

I know how I got this way.

AW: (LQ) It's all Tilly's fault.

And I guess I can chalk it up to fear.

Miss Cam: (LQ) You all fear my magnificence.
Legolas: (LQ) My sleekness.
AW: (LQ) My giant sized ego!

I am deathly scared everyone is going to turn on me because of this ugly image Tilly always tries to portray of me.

AW: (LQ) See, I told you it's all Tilly's doing!

Ever since the first day our little feud begun, I have always been worried of the way she feels towards me would bleed over into people I knew or friends I had, getting them to feel differently and possibly turn against me.

Miss Cam: (LQ) Because my own actions would never do so, no.

It scares the $h1t out of me.

AW: (LQ) That's why I wear Depends.

Scares me to near death that people are going to believe this horrible image she has painted for me, and turn against on me.

Link: (Brando) TILLY!

All I want to do is separate myself from her.

Legolas: (LQ) A saw, axe, anything!

It's all I ask. This place is my sanctuary, a place where I can feel happy at, and not have to worry about anything.

Miss Cam: Not sanity, not manners, not respect to fellow human beings; nothing.

I escape reality for a little while here.

AW: (LQ) 24/7 actually.

And I feel like it has been tainted with Tilly's horrible image of me.

Legolas: (LQ) She paints with truth!

I NEVER intended for this to happen.

Link: (LQ) I fully intended to blow up this guild.
AW: (cheerfully) Yes, lets!

All I wanted was a little peace, peace from Tilly. A separation for her.

AW: (LQ) She wants a divorce.

She doesn't have any goodness towards me, and all I want is separation from her.

Link: (LQ) I want the house, Tilly.

If everyone would just please associate with her elsewhere, I'd be happy.

Link: We wouldn't
Legolas: Yeah, we want our entertainment!

So happy.

AW: (british accent) I feel happy. So happy! *club*

It's all I want. Please understand all. I just want peace.

Miss Cam: (LQ) So, let me be like my country leaders and punish others for no reason.

If only words could do more.

Link: (LQ) If only they could enslave you all.

Please forgive me.

AW: (british accent) Shut. Your screaming howler!
 

Forgiveness mention count at # : 10

(They all wait for more.)

(Nothing comes.)

Link: It's over?
Legolas: May the Valar be praised!
AW: But I still want to see the fireworks of exploding guilds!
Miss Cam: That can be arranged. I happen to have a few grenades on me....
AW: Is there anything you don't do?
Miss Cam: Rule the world. Yet. Now, one grenade for Link, one for Legolas, one for AW... Let's blow up some guilds!
AW: YEY!
(AW runs out of the theatre, grenade in hand.)
Legolas: I have a feeling you should not have given him one. I fear for Arda and its inhabitants.
Miss Cam: Oh, I wouldn't worry. I can always just call Lord Elrond.
(Legolas nods.)
Link: Well, I'm going to see that the guild is properly disposed of.
Legolas: I as well, since I have a large headache now, and am becoming very irritable.
Link: Race you.
(Both elves run through a plot hole and to Neo Pets forums. Two distant explotions are heard.)
Miss Cam: Eeeeeeeeeexcellent
(A plothole appears, whirling darkly and suddenly, Miss Cam is gone. A third explosion is heard. The theatre is silent. )
 

The End


AW: (distantly) Oh, so that's the pin you pull to make it go off...
 
 

Credits
"Self Distruct" by Link's Queen
Msted by Al's Waiter & Miss Cam
(msted without permission and HOW)
Legolas and other Lord of the Rings characters belong J. R. R. Tolkien and his kin.
              Link and related topics belong to Nintendo... I think... and not to LQ.
 

Special Thanks to:
Miss Cam
(for supplying this rant)
Silvestris
(for having nice LoZ dividers)
(Silvestris' Studio)
Skittles
 
 

FINAL NOTE: GOOD BYE EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU'LL FIND NEW GUILDS TO GO TO. I ALREADY HAVE ONE! -=HITS THE AUTO-DESTRUCT BUTTON=-